The Magic Trick: A Simple Exercise That Changes Everything

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Rex: [00:00:00] Welcome to the Resilience Lab. I'm Rex Miller and I want to explore some obscure research 60 years ago that changed everything we understand about genius and potential. And along with that, my experience for over 25 years taking a deep dive in how to unlock hidden potential. And having worked with more than 20,000 people and why it stays hidden, I want to share with you my simple definition of genius.

And then at the end of our session today, a simple team conversation that you can have to unlock what we call the magic in each one of us. This is the first of a series of three podcasts. That [00:01:00] we'll be divided into finding that hidden potential, How do we become that best version of ourselves? How do we unlock that potential not only in ourselves and our teams? Over the last 25 years, I've found four key disciplines. That have helped me put this together. One is strength psychology, which began in the 1950s with people like Abraham Maslow, Donald Clifton, and then shifting into positive psychology in 1999 with Dr.

Martin Seligman and Mihi Chick sent Mihai, and I've found working with thousands of individuals that we all go through this. I think there's something more inside of me. I don't know where it went to and I don't know how to release it.

That is the universal story I think we all live with. In fact, we'll see in the statistics that 98% of us. No, there's something deeper inside. There's something holding us back. This research that was 60 years ago is a [00:02:00] key to unlocking that, and it surprises me that even though it's been shared in two TED Talks, it was very obscure.

It was a minor player in what we're going to unlock today. George Land who's no longer alive gave a TED talk and said that the number one skill or capacity that we're going to need as leaders going into the future is this creative ability, to solve problems.

But what happens is school.

Now, in 2005, sir Ken Robinson gave what I think today is still the most watched Ted Talk of all times. The title was, do Schools Kill Creativity? He was basing his research on George Land's research and concluded that the industrial model, the assembly line approach to education is what kills creativity.

And that model goes back to the industrial time where the primary criteria for education [00:03:00] was to learn how to read, follow instructions, sit still, and write. And we still have that same model predominantly today. So where did it go? In my story, first grade, I was that outgoing, creative. Curious kid, but third grade things began to change for me, Now in third grade, one of the things that schools do is they test for reading capabilities. And I learned, I had a reading disability, so once a week I would leave the class, have to get up, everyone watches me leave, and I go down to the reading lab and then I come back.

But to add to that, they also determined that I had a speech impediment. In fact. I love the editing side of podcasts because it pulls out a lot of the tongue tied sentences that I have, which is a result of that speech impediment. So I began [00:04:00] to notice that I was different and I didn't like it, and the way I coped with it is I became an overachiever and people cope in many different ways.

But that was mine. Out of college, I came out as a tennis pro, overachiever. needed a more stable kind of job, and I was hired by Southwestern Bell in 1978 We were moving from the analog switches to digital switches.

We also were going through a business model change divestiture. it was intense. I was moving up the ladder, taking opportunities, but I wasn't thinking about how this aligns with my talents, my convictions, and I don't think I'm that unusual. But what was happening is the parable of the frog.

In the pot of water. when you slowly lose touch with who you are, and then when I was 45 years of age in 2000, it all came crashing [00:05:00] down. One day I come into the office, The owner ripped up my contract and said, Rex, we don't need a VP of sales.

We need sales. You can either leave today or come back Monday as a commission salesperson. I said, I don't know what I'm going to do or how I'm gonna get through this, but I made a commitment to you and I will show up Monday.

I was under extreme stress. Embarrassed by what was going on. and within a couple months I was $150,000 in credit card debt.

And with bankruptcy, five times but as Destiny would have it, a book came out. And that book is called Now Discover Your Strengths, and that's where I learned about the Clifton strengths. It used to be called Strengths Finder, and the new version of the book is Strengths Finder 2.0.

It's the same assessment, and when I took it for the first time in my life, I [00:06:00] understood why some things. comes second nature to me. and why Some things I'm good at, but I don't enjoy doing or they're stressful, and I began to shift my energy to doing things that aligned with how I was wired.

In other words, play to my strengths. Now, I still had to sell. But for today, what I'd like to do is share with you a simple conversation that you can have with your team that will help you discover and unlock that potential, What comes naturally to you, but looks like magic to me. That is genius. Here's a conversation you can have with your team. Make sure there's a facilitator. And let's say there's six of us and Sally's on the other side, and I'm the facilitator [00:07:00] and I will ask the team, what are some things that you appreciate about Sally and her work or that you find valuable? And you'll hear people share things like, Sally always goes the extra mile and she has a smile.

Or Guillermo stays calm under pressure, or Maryanne always knows what it's going to take to get something done. There's a whole wide variety, but as we share these experiences and make them specific and, and other people add to that.

After everyone shares, I ask, how did it feel? And a lot of times I hear uncomfortable. I said, but did you like it? And they say, yes, I like it. I appreciate it. And so getting over this feeling of, oh, I'm not special, or This isn't special, it is because I don't think this way.

I don't act this way. And we have to get over this initial barrier to unlock the things that are hidden. That's why it stays hidden in us, is because we don't [00:08:00] embrace it. When people recognize it, we don't know how to embrace it. But what I found is that when I get better and better at recognizing it in others, then I can also begin to see and embrace it in myself If all we did was this exercise, it would've been rich, encouraging, edifying, insightful ahas. We had all those experiences going on because people were beginning to recognize, oh, this is something that this person does naturally, and it makes such a big difference for all of us. And after 25 years of doing this, what I found that people crave the most, but get the least, is that.

Recognition or that validation of why I matter, what do I do that means anything to you? We get so heads down with what we do and we take so much for granted and we don't even look up. And so many people go [00:09:00] through the day getting their job done, never knowing. Did it make any difference at all? And this is such a simple thing to do, and this is the key to unlocking what I call the magic trick, which is the spark of genius inside of you.

So I'd like you to try this exercise and give me some feedback. Let me know how it goes. Let me know how I can help you. One of the tools I use that really helps us connect it to what's going on underneath us are the Clifton strengths, and I've developed a software called Genius Spark and a book I wrote called Genius Spark to help make all of this simpler, but you don't need those to have this conversation.

And the good news is they can do it on their own. They don't need to hire. An expensive consultant to come in and go through all kinds of training.

Like most things in life, the most valuable, important things are right in front of us. They're easy to do. All we have to do [00:10:00] is find a primer to have the conversation. So if this session was meaningful for you or if you're curious, please reach out. I want to thank you for joining me today and let you know that the Resilience Lab is surround podcast.

Produced by two amazing individuals, Rob Schulte and Rachel Sinoto. And if you'd like to find more podcasts like this one, please visit surround podcast.com and subscribe. That helps me know that this is important and that the content I'm sharing is valuable to you. I wanna reach as many people as I can.

With the best lessons learned over time so that you can unlock your hidden potential. Discover what it's like to live your best self daily and to build the kind of resilience that we're all going to need going through these uncertain times. Thank you for joining me [00:11:00] today, and I look forward to sharing more with you in the next podcast.